Our gracious Open Adoption Bloggers hostess Heather gave us this topic for a roundtable prompt:
Write about open adoption and being scared.
I wasn’t sure whether I would answer this or not. At first I was afraid of a lot of things: Would M like us enough to choose us? Would she run off, never to be heard from again? Would I ever feel like somebody’s mum?
All those were pretty real fears on my part. All of them were answered, to some extent. Still not certain about M, but things are looking better with every visit and contact.
My greatest fear, though, is still in the future. After all this – letting Anabel know all the parts of her family, allowing them to know her, and some more – how will she feel when she’s older? My real fear is she won’t be able to forgive any of us “adults” for what we did in her best interests. That is far more scary to contemplate than some lame-assed slasher movie.
For more about the Open Adoption Bloggers Roundtable, and to read far better, more coherent writing than this, click here. Enjoy.
Some actual fiber arts content coming soon.